DAY 2

DAY 2#

I have been up for about an hour or so now and have just put on a fresh nicotine patch having stopped smoking on Wednesday evening.

I decided to try again having thought long and hard about my current lifestyle and state of health which I feel is not at all what it should be. I know that I am not far off forty and that some things in life are in the lap of the gods, but on the other hand I am not doing myself any favours.
I mean...Every morning I wake up, moan to myself about how fat I am getting, (whilst shoveling the remains of yesterdays left over chocolate bar into my ever sweetening tooth) make a coffee, roll a cigarette, open the window, stick my head out and smoke it.

I never used to care about any of this, but I guess the fact that I am now enjoying having my daughter living with me for most of each week, and that I have started to feel tired a lot more when I want to feel alive and energetic has begun to play on my mind. There is so much I have done in life, but a hell of a lot more that I want to do. My daughter needs me and I want to be around long enough to watch her grow up.

It's begun to sink in that not only am I unhappy with my weight gain owing to age, food and lack of exercise, but I have begun to get out of breath a lot quicker and feel lethargic.
At the end of the day, not only do I want to be healthy, to feel good about myself and to live long enough to do all the things that I want, but I want to watch my daughter grow up, get married and meet my grandchildren someday.

As far as smoking is concerned....I haven't beaten the craving yet which is obvious as I have only just stopped and I know it'll take a while to loose the craving. I am also not dumn enough to assume a winning goal on the basis of a two day nicotine battle. But what I am sure of, is the straight forward fact that I have more than enough reasons to stop and NONE to carry on lighting up.


I can but try and try I will.

Cu