There is good in the world

DAY 3#

I woke up today relieved to hear on the news......that aid worker Kate Burton and her mum and dad, Hugh and Win have been released during the night/early hours by their captors. Separately and via individual cars at different locations they were each set free.
I am really really pleased.
I was genuinely disturbed, worried and very concerned as to who had taken them and what motives were behind their being taken in the first place. Let alone what fate may have been awaiting them. Owing to the fragilty this once safe (ish) area and the miriad of terrible injustices that certain other governments have put upon both this and other parts of the middle east with their interfering I imagine I was not alone with my concernes.

Kate along with other United Nations employees working from the UN in Gaza had no option but to leave having been told by those in charge that Western hostage had become a very serous concern.
So having left the UN, she stayed in the same area but began working for the "al-Mezan Centrein"(Centre for Human Rights)
Kate who had invited her parents over to stay had been showing them around the town of Rafah which is near the Egyptian border. And it was here that their nightmare ordeal began. However Kate has made it very clear that not only was she treated well, but that her captors made a point of regularly asking her if she needed anything.
It is also aparent from the video that The Mujahadeen Brigades released yesterday showing Kate and a masked gunman, that she was not made to wear a mask or Quantanmo Bay type orange jump suite that has become symbolic and reminiscent of those shown in videos released by the Iraq insurgent groups who kidnapped and killed westerners as a last line of defence to fight the illegal US led occupaton of Iraq.
Kate is also seen to be in my own opinion quite together athough obviously frightened.
I wonder too that being able to speak French,Spanish AND Arabic, whether this would have been a blessing or simply added to the fear she must have already been feeling. I mention this because on the video we can see Kate standing beside the gunman who is reading a statement out in what I would imagine to be Arabic or similar. And if Kate could understand some or all of what was being read it would either have been a blessing to know what was going on or simply added to an already worsening nightmare for her.

I admire her courage and faith without question. Well done Kate. Especially since she's already said that she wants to carry on her work over the in Gaza.

It's very sad that this previously unheard of group "The Mujahadeen Brigades" has said it will go further in the future by kidnapping international monitors if it has too. From what I have read and heard, (thanks Sky news and BBC WS) the group have denounced the UK for it's involvement and the part it's played throughout history in what has been happening to Palestinians since 1918. This goes far beyond my understanding as I am not educated enough or up to speed on middle eastern history but I have a rough understanding. I will be researching it though as I think it is important to know what's going on especially in this world climate.



The second news story that needs mentioning is that from the Russian gas compnay Gazprom is threatening to cut off supplies to the Ukraine by a January 1st threatened deadline,unless it begins paying for it's gas supplies life everyone else.
The problem is not an easy one to understand and certainly won't fade away.

The basics of the situation are that the Ukraine has been used by Gazprom for many years as an outlet and throughport by which Gazprom has been using it to shift it supplies via the Ukraine straight through to parts of Europe, and in return, the Ukraine has enjoyed more or less free gas.
But the company is now saying it needs to increase it's overall fuel prices and by what is percieved to be a considerable amount. Hense forth the Ukraine too is now being told it must also start paying.
It's a sad state of affairs as the Ukraine is a middle man for a quarter of the Wests gas input too!!!!!
To top that off the Russian government has offered to bail out the Ukraine by way of a government loan to help pay for the fuel costs. This has no doubt enraged the state who say they don't want handouts and want to be independant. Who can blame them.

And looking a the situation further....even though we are on the other side of the water from them, we here in the United Kingdom may suffer too. the point is...We may see problems over her before long is this Jauary 1st threat of "switching off supplies" actually happens.

What's more worrying is that we are now under a really cold spell and yesterdays electricity problems have drawn home the bigger picture should the gas be interrupted in any way.
It was about 5pm or so late yesterday afternoon when the telly went off as did all the power.
We had no electricity for a good two hours. Thank heavens I bought my daughter a ton of batteries for christmas that are in the cupboard. May need them all at this rate should the powercut last the night.

From what I can understand, one of the main sub stations suffered from bad weather blues and caused a black out both in Trimley and (thanks mum) around the felixstowe area.


------------------------------------
Have just found out:
(Homes last night without power)
East Anglia: 44,000
East Midlands: 17,000
North Wales: 18,000
------------------------------------


I imagine some of the smaller shops and perhaps some of the supermarkets suffered quite badly too. I am talking about food products kept in the freezers and fridges although perhaps they were ok.

Luckily for us, daddy has been taught well (thanks again mum...LOL) and learnt over the years to always have standby lights ect.


I may not have had candles but my daughter who slept through most of the outage, woke up with fully charged batteries in her portable player and one of the battery lights beside her bed.
My old but reliable computer came in handy too what with it's battery supply. It's only good for an hour JUST!!! But it allowed me to whack across several of my daughter favorite cartoons from her drive to my phone. I wanted to have something for her to watch as my good old phone has four spare batteries and she would have been fine with it if everything else ran out.
What's funny is that she didn't seem bothered at all by the outage when she woke up and all I got was "I want my dinner" and "Can you put Thomas on"(Calling all Engines....Thomas the tank engine film)
She never ceases to amaze me. The best thing of all though was having dinner cooked just as the power went off. Luckily the meal was nearly cooked anyway..And the hot oven stayed hot enough to cook everything. I imagine others weren't so lucky so my thoughts went out to them whilst I savoured every mouthful of hot chips..Gravy...Beans...Sweet potatoes and pie...(like heck it did.....Am I sarcastic or what....He he he he he)


I digress....

Onto today....

Well..I have been up since waking at dead on (kid you not) 4am. I didn't even want a cigarette either which made me feel wonderful. I got up tucked my little one in....Made her a fresh water bottle and fresh milk bottle....Refilled her pooh bear water bottle.... made a coffee...changed my patch,made a quick phone call (not to a person as I am not in the habit of winding and waking people up at such as time LOL)... And then sat down to write this.

It's day three now of my stopping smoking and I am already seriously noticing the complete lack of being knackered first thing in the morning. I HAVE however felt a new 24hour urge to eat everything I can get my hands in relation to sweets and chocolates oh...And prawn cocktail crips too.....
And I don't mind telling you Mr.Blog that my daughters goodies that I always put on one side each week as treats may be next to go if I show the same lack of self discipline as I have shown my own treats/goodies...He he he he. She may be just coming up to her 3rd birthday but she is one amazing child. She knows how to throw a guilt trip and has become expert at letting the world know when she's annoyed. I'm sure she'll go far in life anyway...But with this talent at making daddy feel bad she will grow up to be just like a real female of the species....HE HE HE (only kidding....)

Anyway....(yes I KNOW I use the word "anyway" far too much but it'd one of those gorgeous words that one throws about at the beginning of a sentence when one is thinking and a little stuck at how to write the next paragraph....Something like that)

Like I was saying...I feel tired right now, but I don't feel miserable at the coughing I was suffering from only 3 days or so prior to stopping smoking. I also don't ache when I get up to do something....I am not out of breath so much when I move around quickly...
The perfect scenario for this would be like yesterday.....Sophie asked me to get her something from the other room like her garage and cars...And no sooner was I out of the door...She went and called me back in to get her a DVD she wanted to watch.....Then she will expect me to get the cat for her.....Seriously....She WILL literally ask me to "can you bring cat over her daddy" she always says please as myself and family have made a point of always teaching her manners whenever possible. I realize how crazy that may sound, as with manners should come the point where she should do things for herself...don't get me wrong as she's just like most children in that respect but when she can't be bothered and is comfortable on the settee that's when she'll expect ME to get things for her. She IS getting better though as yesterday she actually peeled her own banana.....honestly.....no word of a lie.

Anyway...I love her to bits and wouldn't be doing half of the things I am nearing to completing in life if it wasn't for the fact of knowing shes in my life. Even smoking...when I had my last cigerette on Wednesday night I was saying a little prayer asking for help and guidance throughout the coming year and though I was being quiet enough. But no....little miss heard some of it and came over, asked me for a cuddle and simply said "daddy are you not going to be going out the kitched window anymore" She hates it when I put my head out of the window to smoke and has told me everytime I would say where I was going, that she wanted me to stop. I have told her how bad smoking is now and that when daddy tried before to quite that daddy wasn't ready. Now she has been checking asking me if I have got a patch on. It may not be a lot but I know she understands enough to realise that her saying that and telling me not to smoke helps me so much. I pray that she never smokes and ever has to go through having to get to the point I did before realising it's time to make a concerted effort.

I am wafling on a little I think....sorry about that if I am Mr.Blog.

I will go get another coffee and do some of my assignment now.

Cu

DAY 2

DAY 2#

I have been up for about an hour or so now and have just put on a fresh nicotine patch having stopped smoking on Wednesday evening.

I decided to try again having thought long and hard about my current lifestyle and state of health which I feel is not at all what it should be. I know that I am not far off forty and that some things in life are in the lap of the gods, but on the other hand I am not doing myself any favours.
I mean...Every morning I wake up, moan to myself about how fat I am getting, (whilst shoveling the remains of yesterdays left over chocolate bar into my ever sweetening tooth) make a coffee, roll a cigarette, open the window, stick my head out and smoke it.

I never used to care about any of this, but I guess the fact that I am now enjoying having my daughter living with me for most of each week, and that I have started to feel tired a lot more when I want to feel alive and energetic has begun to play on my mind. There is so much I have done in life, but a hell of a lot more that I want to do. My daughter needs me and I want to be around long enough to watch her grow up.

It's begun to sink in that not only am I unhappy with my weight gain owing to age, food and lack of exercise, but I have begun to get out of breath a lot quicker and feel lethargic.
At the end of the day, not only do I want to be healthy, to feel good about myself and to live long enough to do all the things that I want, but I want to watch my daughter grow up, get married and meet my grandchildren someday.

As far as smoking is concerned....I haven't beaten the craving yet which is obvious as I have only just stopped and I know it'll take a while to loose the craving. I am also not dumn enough to assume a winning goal on the basis of a two day nicotine battle. But what I am sure of, is the straight forward fact that I have more than enough reasons to stop and NONE to carry on lighting up.


I can but try and try I will.

Cu

wait a mo....this is a really good film

Got up at 548am this morning. God knows why but I actually woke up and fed the cat straight away before anything else. Usually owing to not liking mornings (at least not until Mr.Cafeine addict here has had a fix) I mope about for at least an hour until fully awake.

But this morning I woke up with a smile. I can't say why because I don't know. Must be the christmas spirit. Anyway... I was woken up by my daughters cat jumping all over the bed in one of it's morning induced spasms. reminds me of a hyperactive gerbal in one of those running wheels.



This cat is crazy and more fuzzy than I don't know what. I not only put four cleans bowls out on her tray...milk....Bernard Mathews chicken slices....Kitecat poach and a spoonfull of fresh double cream, and guess what...she didnt EVEN WANT ANY OF IT.
Instead, as I sat on the floor reading my email, she clawed my arm until I turned around to pay her some attention. And there before me was her little toy mouse type thing. Shes a clever cat to say the least.
Anyway...I wound the mouse up and got clawed big time on the hand and not just once or twice but in constant attacking animal instinct asault mode.
If I dont throw the mouse in .0072 of a second then she attacks me INSTEAD....grrrr

Still love her to bits though. The weired thing is. Is that my nealry 3yr old daughter can wind that cat up...pick her up whenever she wants.....carry her around the apartment like a new designer bag assessory and the cat never AND I MEAN never ever scratches her. It must be a thing the cat has against me.

I digress........

I bought a film yesterday from the local Spar shop. (poor staff having to work xmas day...but hey...they must get a fair wage right...???)
The film is called "THE GIRL NEXT DOOR" and stars "24" actress
Elisha Cuthbert as Danielle the girl next door.... and

Emile Hirsch

as high school student Mathew Kidmen.







I didn't have time to watch it last night so I put it on with a coffee and bit of toast this morning and sat back expecting to be mildly entertained for a few minutes until my usual bordom light came on.....
But WRONG...!!! because this film ROCKS and I mean ROCKS....
It's got a great storyline....great script.....fast pace......comedy moments which I might add "came" at the right time. Oh and the sound track rocked too. Especially through my sony pans and with dolby pro logic on the dvd player. I recomend full bass on this one.

The film starts off telling the story of a soon to graduate American high school senior who doesn't seem to do anything but get straight "A's" and wish on a daily basis that his life had more meaning and fun.
Together with two misfit friends he hangs out with the film gets going on the laugh stakes from the get go.

Out of the two friends who we are introduced to early on as part of the storyline setup. We learn the fact that one hates the way he looks and feels he'll never find a girlfriend unless she excepts americal express,(you get the point ha ha ha ha ha) and the other who lives life on the edge (of a playboy centrefold centre pages whilst sitting alone in his room with his right hand)
There a reference to the term/word "tripod" which you'll nead to watch the film for this to mean anything but it's real feel good moment towards the end.
All three including himself are boring and lead a little bit on the odd side lifes.
.......our story gets going soon after a new neighbour moves into the house next door to Mathews house and who has rather an"interesting secret".....and so the madness begins
He falls for her in a big way....the story pans out from here in within around 13minutes and the viewer is certainly entertained. So I recomend this film to anyone who both wants a laugh and wants to switch brain activity off for a while.

The film wants desperately to fit snuggly into the comedy romance /feel good genre but IMO it's more all of them plus edge of your seet stuff too when certain scenes get going.

***** 5 STARS/10

By for now....

Early Christmas...But just this once (#1)

Good morning world.....
Well, amazingly it's warm out today and the sunshine has kicked both the rain and any possibility of snow right out the window.

Christmas this year has come early for us and for a few good reasons. I won't go into them as I don't want to, but rest assured it was a good idea.

--------------i am being hailed on daddy frequency number 5 so have to finish this off in a bit--

Every door that closes.....

I have been to college this morning expecting a lesson but found out that there wasn't one.
So having taken little one into playgroup and had some time to hand I went for a coffee at my fav cafe just up from the second hand record shop in Ipswich. I even had one of there YUMMY cheese omelets...

Read a really funny article in the sun newspaper which was lying about regarding Jeremy Clarksons German outburst/joke on his car show the other week (Top Gear..???). Seems the bbc have recieved a complaint....ooppps. Strange to read though that it wasnt from the german government but elsewhere.
He did a salute sign as in the 3rd rich/Hitler salute which in all intense and purposes could've been taken either way.

Being British born and bread, I feel it's true to say that we takes jokes about ourselves on the chin and either laugh it off or if a member of the government sue those responsible...(just kidding).
The Sun although a fun newspaper which I never take too seriously (editorially speaking) spoke out in his defense with an oposite page piece that reached in the apparent past and recalled the jokes that were supposed to have been common during and just after the second world war.Jokes which at the time were to keep the british moral up and keep the glue holding our stiff upper lip.

The funny thing here though was that some of the jokes were NOT that old and if they were, then they'd, most certainly been edited to update them.
Even so, when it comes to sitting on the fence "The Sun" does.. when it feels like it. If the newpaper itself was a person it would be that person we all know who will agree with both you and your enemies point of view and swear elegiance to the three of you (am being ironic here)

I digress.............

Anyway....back to what matters....I've just heard that my father is now in a ward at the hospital having been told yesterday that he'd have to phone this morning to see if there would be a bed available.
The ward he's in is a sort of half way stop off point until a permenant bed is found. (I have had to explain this as it wasnt told to him....not exactly anyway..)
Its difficult to rationalise situations like this at the best of times. But poor old dad has had another specific problem to deal with and for a while now but he's always made a point of keeing a smile on his face and been brave.
I would find it difficult to smile under these circumstances let alone to have something else thrown into the life pot on top of it.

I will catch a bus this evening and take some grapes with me and maybe some Lucazade etc. He needs cheering up even though he's as tough as they come. Must be where i get my resiliance from. Just wish I had a magic wand.
But I have somethings far stronger......"FAITH" :-)





Cu

SEALAND.......

A few years ago I spent time on Roughs Tower AKA: Sealand. It's about 7 miles due east from Harwich if I remember correctly. The reason I was there....well... I was under a music management contract with Jim (surname not important) who put together some recording time at Limelite studio in Battersea London and worked as part of a security detail on the fort.



Anyway...because he worked two weeks on and two weeks off on the platform I got to go with him along with some recording equipment and synth, dig piano and write new material in the most peaceful surroundings you can imagine. I remember someone at the time telling me that musicians and artists would spend good money to get that kind of peace and setting.
Memory.....ahh yes...sitting on the H.D with a portable keyboard trying to write an ode to Sealand waving like a snob to all the yaughts going past the once happy bouys. (don't ask)
It was a cool time in my life as I got to meet some moderately important people and got to have lunch dinner AND tea with some B list people who were behind the scenes at the time in the music industry....(and...yes this is true,)

For the record and for anyone reading this who might remember these artists, Jim was the one who found Paul Hardcastle and started him on the road to pre"19" n n n n nineteen (Vietnam anti USA war song) fame and also found Bronski Beat (Jimmy Summerville) playing to an audience in Covernt gardens in London. So I felt pretty sure I must have something special if he was helping me.

Anyway,I got to meet Sir Roy Bates, his charming wife Joan and son Micheal, who owned the platform. I found out at the time that Roy had been a guest on Terry Wogans show many years ago which was a suprise.

The point to this blog is basically that I was given a set of Sealand stamps which were produced along with curency and passports to allow for it to stand as a principality in the eyes of the law as well as it (controvercial fact alert) standing in international waters and hense was believed to be untouchable from the hands British Government.
I've heard many people say that if it was ever deemed a threat to the government then they would probably board it and take it.
Well, I say this "even back then...they would have hand a problem if they tried to and thats years ago...so I can only imagine the increase in security and logistics, especially with the new ventures"
Although even back then when I was putting whats known as a "silver rod" CB antena in the middle of the helicopter desk in the middle of one hell of an evil storm, I knew that it would never be a pushover if anyone wanted to try and come aboard.

Looking back,the only freaky time I still squirm at was the only way available to get on board. It's known as a bosans chair.I hated it at the time as Jim got smacked on the head by our boarding ships mast, whilst part way up.

......going back on topic...I have found out that a set of new stamps are now available to anyone who wants to buy them. I am hoping though that along with some extensive and VERY proovable memories, I still have something to pass on to my daughter when she is older when I can tell her about daddys exploits and mad life/past.

Here's hoping...

I digress. If this blog is a little in need of a spell check and is all over the place, it's because I am feeling god awful and have another damn cold. AND I WANT SYMPATHY..... :-(

The stamps I have are in a safe place literally. But I will take some snaps and upload the pics.

not again

Sunday 452am.

Just woken up. Sore throat, shivers and headache. Can't believe it....NOT AGAIN.
Only just got over this first time around..

gallery

Sometimes....
I have had about four and a bit hours sleep last night which is a godsend under the circumstances.
My little one is poorly once again. She came home yesterday so sick and straight away cried telling me she'd been asking for daddy. It guts me to see her like this. By 6pm though she was in such high spirits that even with an awful cough and a voice that croaked with every struggled word, she seemed to come alive. What a transformation. I must be doing something right to be needed so much that her spirit is so transformed simply by coming back home. All she wanted to do was paint, glue and glitter... oh yes, and chase after "Blue" (That cat loves her to bits.)

Come evening I got her to sleep around nine thirty last night and although she was obviously restless as anyone ill is, she did manage to sleep for a while.

Its now 5.34 and she woke me up to ask for cuddles about half an hour ago. I've been sitting beside her with the laptop typing up the remainder of a presentation that I must give Monday morning first thing.

------stop (am needed)-------------

(6.27am)
....well. We've moved on my little ones request to the front room. Insistant on watching Noddy-Adventues in Toyland (bumpy dog in "Bumpy Dogs Day" is my favorite) she's half asleep and I hope will soon sleep some more.
I had better leave it there for now as I need to warm some milk up and refill someones Winnie the Pooh water bottle.

....bye for now

Can't really think of a title....

It's monday morning on the 5th November 2005....
Been up for about 45 minutes. Got a million and one things to get sorted out to today. Just chucking some media files onto my pda before catching yet another boring and dull bus ride to college. I stayed up last night trying my hardest to get an assignment completed for today. I have more or less done it bar some of the detail. I am so tired. I guess it's this damn cold which some have called a flue type virus that kept me stuck in too ill to do much that I blame for still feeling so rotten. Although I am glad to say I feel a lot better than I have done over the past two weeks or so.

I have exported all the graphics using the batch function within Fireworks to transform all the png file on my site to gif images. The site is looking great although I have another idea that I will be working on once time allows. I intend to create a new index page graphic that will house smaller buttons all in one complete image. Then I will use that as a themed template and use it through the sites pages. Each page in turn will reflect its title by an enhanced button change that will depend on state.
It should look pretty good.

Anyway. Better run as the bus will be here soon. If I miss that I will end up having to go straight to my class instead of having time on my arrival for a cup of coffee.

Bye for now.
------------------------------------------------------
FOR MY PERSONAL DIARY
Yesterday evening the music was that loud that 5 people including 2 on the phone who called me at different times have said that it is not on and something should be done about it. Besides that the door that has been fixed on the entrance to my apartment has turned out NOT to be the cause of the door slamming. So I will need to think long and hard on this.

It's really nice when.....

.....when the odd day come along when everything goes really well....
apart from one small thing that didn't arrive as expected


Thats all I want to say.
Subject closed/

Before I forget..."NOTES"

This is a message to myself for using as notes for the final write up for my presentation. I guess you could call it "the ultimate backup" (or that I keep loosing my notes that I have all around the apartment when things I want to add spring to mind)

• Software on PDA/PPC (CAD) used for creating draft copies of original and up to date test sketches of site visuals and themes?
• Added code for search site and search web. DIDN'T COPY EITHER. Actually sat down and pulled original source code apart and wrote the bits I needed minus certain pieces I won't mention and the removal of the extra .......
• Reasons as to why I redesigned the site.
• Why the colours and complete theme change and why that precise choice..(we know why don't we Mr.Never really quite content and Mr.Self Critical...I hate being two faces....personal joke with reference to my indecisiveness)
• How I managed to realign the tables after taking so long to find out why there was a space below my index heading graphic.
• Why I gave up and decided to go without the animated logo after taking so long to get it right.And reading the same flipping "how to control animations" chapter on page 230 Part 14 of the book How to use Dreamweaver MX & Fireworks writen by Lon Cloey published by QUE publishing/2004

• Testing browser compatability: Which gave way to many of my edits on the second layout.
• Why it took forever to realise just in time that Firefox IS NOT the best browser to use as a testing ground for website editing. Because of the problem with refresh rates and unreliability with the browser options.

line 97----------if book has been thrown at wall goto line 100 else goto line 98----------------

line 98----------if book winds you up then goto line 99----------------------------------------

line 99----------if chapter makes sense carry on reading else goto line 100 ---------------------

line 100---------------------------------end---------------------------------------------------

I maybe a lot of things but lazy ain't one of them

Pulled myself out of bed long enough to grab a coffee..more Beechams Flue Plus...medicated tissues (thank's to a friend who laughed at my red nose with a BANG OUT OF ORDER RUDE JOKE)...inhaler..throat pastles and lemon drink.. GOD I HATE FEELING LIKE THIS.

I have been writing out the rest of my notes that I've been compiling for the creation of of my class presentation. It's got to be around 10 to 15 minutes long and involves a setup using powerpoint slides. I quite like being infront of people sometimes in situations like this. Which is really crazy when I think how naff I can get when at the best of times I find it hard sometimes being around others in a social situation. It's a crazy world of that there's no mistaking.
Anyway...back on track...
The assignment in the form of a presentation has to be completed infront of the class I study with at college and in short will involve talking about the putting together of the individual online portfolio sites that we have all had to do recently.

I have got a good feeling about my work to date. It would be a great buzz to achieve higher than expected marks bearing in mind all life has been throwing at me of late..and not forgetting the enviroment I am left to work under at the best of time....motorbikes.....dogs barking non stop...plus a great deal of other annoyances that I'd better not go on about or else the thought of them will drive me nuts.

I end up studying now with my Sony cans on most of the time. It's easier when I want to get on with something, especially when there's work to be done.
Can't beat a little Barclay James Harvest, Rush,U2 or Coldplay wafting down my weiry bunged up eardrums...it blocks out everything and makes for a great psychological holiday when needed. ah yes....


I don't really want to keep writing as I am trying to add some specific sound files that I have had difficulty recording which I want to use in two of my slides. They are going to add a slight humorous feel to the few minutes I'm up there but not at all in a wasted way. It will if my plan works and comes together, emulate some of what I have been doing to change the look of my website.
Who knows maybe the world will end tomorrow...my point is...if I can't get the recording to sound write it won't be the be all and end all.
I have a feeling I am waffling on a bit. So bye bye.

....now.....where's the notes on fireworks that WERE on the pin board....but are NOT there anymore.
that ******* CAT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you

Stuck in bed..Feeling really horrid....Haven't felt this bad in quite a while......And to top it all off, I needed to use a ventolin inhaler in late last night so I guess my asthma is back for a while.

Thank goodness for small mercies though in the shape of a little black mischievous kitten called "blue"




It makes everything a tiny bit easier to bear when you know you're not alone.Thats for sure.
Cat....I'm sorry for being a total grouch yesterday.
....But you MUST STOP pulling the Christmas tree decorations down..Especially from Sophia's little tree that Grandma and her spent quality time making it look really nice...And then YOU cat....You running around the apartment with tinsel wrapped around your bum intermittently pausing in your tracks and expecting....waiting for someone to take pitty on you and to feel sorry enough for you to remove it.....(do you REALLY think you've got me all worked out..??)

Anyway....I guess I can forgive you because you always jump up and purr at the right time when I'm feeling down....in need of a friend or like today "obviously needing you to wake me up at 6am because YOU WANTED FEEDING...and I hope it's hello and goodmorning that you're purring..


I remember watching Mr.Ben (BBC Childrens program created using stop frame animation with puppets...it was extremely popular) when I was off school as a young child and mum making me chicken soup as it was the only thing I could eat.I used to be quite ill as a kid. Not just common colds...but I used to get chest infections....asthma....headaches the size of Manhattan and a intermittent problem with my eyes that eventually saw me going into hospital having quite serious surgery.
I will never forget coming home from hospital after two weeks and seeing that the bare trees left behind that outlined the park entrance we lived beside had now been replaced by pink blosoms.Heck, I can even remember that fresh sweet smell as if it was yesterday. (I was about 12 years old) And then finding out that the two cats we had called "toots and tim" had had to go to new homes because the doctors had warned mum and dad that it would start my alergy off again and could cause more problems, I digress on the subject as its making me reminise too much.

I feel yuck

Got up this morning....struggled to get out of bed....felt sick...headache, + got on bus to college...started to feel very and I mean VERY sick. Got off bus in Ipswich....phoned a friend...got cold drink from McDonalds....took some tablets (beechams) waited half an hour...thanks beechams for the advertising lies....(suprise suprise...another untruthfull and bulked up advert from the tv that I fell for.....tablets cost me nearly five pounds too...)..had to get back home sharpish as didnt want to end up walking into class and being sick....so got back on bus.driver was a lunatic as seemed to think he was alone in a sports car driving down a personal stretch of road all to himself. got off bus..picked up Blue (daughter kitten who hates lack of attention)..went back to bed.
I am not one to put up with a bad cold but todays will go into the realms of "dont want to rememberness" as I still feel dreadfull now and its 21:25 in the evening. If I get a cold in my system and it gets into my breathing bits...I end up unable to do much. Have had bad lungs since a kid. Inhaler and inhaler although these days I dont have much of a problem with asthma thank god I slept for most of the afternoon in the hope my tum would give me a break.But it hasn't. Am going back to bed.

Bye

Final Stages....phew

This is going to be a really quick blog because I am physically exhausted and in need of a coffee....and a lie down.
I have been redesigning my web based portfolio site for near on to an eternity now. Obviously I've had lots of other things to do outside of using Dreamweaver and getting frustrated. It's been great fun uf that's the right word to use as I've been unable to stop once I've gotten going and even delved into the art of pop up windows. I tried and tried and tried...but alas I need a little more time spent on scripting. The basic principle I certainly understand and am becoming quite partial to the odd few line of java script dissection. But I found it pretty mind blowing simply trying to add a pop up link window script that I intended and tried to hide behind an image placeholder.
It's easy enough to get the basic script to work from simply adding it to the code page, but my problem that I admit I took far too long trying to solve, was adding the JavaScript to the actual pop up window itself. I checked it so many times I felt like I was going cross eyed. The online tutorials I read were straight forward enough, and I am sure I have the brains for it, but I will just have to put it down to experience and lack of information.
From the ground up I have rebuilt my site over the past few days.
I'd been asking as many people I could think of to sum up there views of it's appearance and over all layout. Taking into account the fact that I'm still just a beginner, I tend to still get a little over enthusiastic at the best of times. And so I managed to make a great deal of notes from what people have said.
I have a bedroom floor full of cold coffee cups, biscuit crumbs and rough sketches of how I wanted the site to look like.
I think I have managed well considering that many ideas I wanted so much to incorporate into the second version, I couldn't manage due to a lack of knowledge. Don't get me wrong as I am forever scouring the internet when I need that extra piece of information to work out a solution. And I'm no stranger to both asking for help or popping down to the library. But I've more or less found workarounds for most of what I wanted to do.

Saying that though, there is one problem that has bugged me for so long now. And that's the webcam page. At present I am using some free downloaded software that I managed to find relatively quickly when I first realized the other week that once one purchases a webcam there are other points to consider before it can be incorporated into your site and be linked up as a live feed.
I took the basic individual camera feed web's that is allocated to every user of the software, and decided after hearing from a reliable source that there is a way to edit out the unwanted bits such as any adverts, code, colouring or information. I managed to screw it completely up many many times during the time I've spent on it. I even got it to look just like part of my site. This was a feet in itself as I'd forgotten parts of the basic code needed and had to ring up a chum to get some advice. I did get the colours to match my site theme too. But try as I might every time I uploaded the new page having copied the code and stored it on the college server, something kept going wrong. It seems that everything I exited the software, Dreamweaver would tell me that the actual page I was working on (camera page provided by the freeware software company) would re-edit itself as if by magic and play havoc with my links. I tried so many times to correct this problem but alas in the end I was resigned to editing the actual off site page and linking to it from a "ahref" link.

And incase anyone wants to throw the obvious line of advice at me regarding making sure the ahref or other links are pointing to the correct source code, directory or file......DON'T

It works fine as it is, and at this precise moment in time I am going to leave it alone as one must I guess draw the line at the best of times when something doesn't want to work.
Perhaps I will find out how to create either a workaround or use the new software I have bought that automatically uploads to any specified server address. I have tried it already using an active x plugin and then a java plugin, but from what I can gather because of security issues with running live scripts, I have come to the decision that the college server won't allow it. Besides which I have since had this conclusion verified by one of the college tutors.

Oh well. I'm off now as I need a break.

Sat up till I dont remember last night sketching out some designs for my web based portfolio make over. Ive not really been happy with it if Im honest and knew I wouldnt be satisfied in its current condition. It was just a matter of finding the time to make some notes and work out some new theme ideas.
I decided on taking advice from the notes Id made whilst talking to others who had creatively and honestly looked at what Id done to date.
The original running theme Id used from the start wasnt something Id given much thought to. Time and other outside influences always make it difficult to keep going in one fell swoop. I decided on keeping the rough outlined basics for what I had done already. But change the site so that it was created from scratch but from a common home made template.
Gone went the mismatched main button links and the thrashy bright colours. Out the window went the raw look that each site page had.
And in the end I decided to use each of the index page main link buttons as a common theme that could be used sepertly for each page. I created a new template with an image placement and five x five table. Topped off with new a new colour theme with I decided gave things a more professional and serious looking slant. I hadnt used or even considered templates previously as Id simply wanted to get as much crammed onto the site as I could in the shortest possible time. I have obviously learnt now that quality not quantity works bets moist times.
I have to stop now as I have other priorities that must be taken care or.

Sat up till I dont remember last night sketching out some designs for my web based portfolio make over. Ive not really been happy with it if Im honest and knew I wouldnt be satisfied in its current condition. It was just a matter of finding the time to make some notes and work out some new theme ideas.
I decided on taking advice from the notes Id made whilst talking to others who had creatively and honestly looked at what Id done to date.
The original running theme Id used from the start wasnt something Id given much thought to. Time and other outside influences always make it difficult to keep going in one fell swoop. I decided on keeping the rough outlined basics for what I had done already. But change the site so that it was created from scratch but from a common home made template.
Gone went the mismatched main button links and the thrashy bright colours. Out the window went the raw look that each site page had.
And in the end I decided to use each of the index page main link buttons as a common theme that could be used sepertly for each page. I created a new template with an image placement and five x five table. Topped off with new a new colour theme with I decided gave things a more professional and serious looking slant. I hadnt used or even considered templates previously as Id simply wanted to get as much crammed onto the site as I could in the shortest possible time. I have obviously learnt now that quality not quantity works bets moist times.
I have to stop now as I have other priorities that must be taken care or.

The best dad I can be....

My favorite little human being is poorly. She's a little under the weather with a cough.
Last night she had a terrible nights sleep and I stayed with her while she would nod off anf wake up every so often upset and needing attention. We've been to see the doctor who as always was and is fantastic.
Anyway....That was this morning and this is now (8:00pm) and..earlier this evening I successfully managed to get her to sleep with a TTTE story some warm milk, teddy bear hot water bottle and big hugs from dad....and....well....she's now fast asleep.

I hate it when she's feeling low which isnt really very often thank goodness as she's usually full of energy and on top of the world. I did get her to do some painting earlier this afternoon (could only find the BIG set of six toooooo bright paints) so I started to teach her that mixing colours together in the two dishes etc with a little patience and trial and error can create all sorts of.......MESS.....ha ha ha ha
I think she did learn a little although in the end it was a case of daddy used a brush and she decided that finger painting was more fun......oh before I forget..."SORRY PUSS PUSS FOR THE WHITE SPLODGE OF PAINT THAT LANDED ON YOUR NOSE"
Thank goodness we have an understanding cat who just sat there staring at me as if it was ALL my fault.
It came off without a problem and having given Blue (my daughter named her that) a bowl of watered down banana flavoured milk shake and two or three....4 or 5.....chicken slices she was one happy cat.

Anyway...thats about it for today. I had planned to do some work on a presentation this afternoon for my course at college but I will have to do that later or in the morning.
I wont go into it....but my final two points are....firstly I have met a lady today who rocks my world and thats even before I really know her. I hope she wont mind me saying that but one look in her eyes and I was hooked...
The second point about the day was that I won £20 on a scratch card. I am not a gambling person but once in a while I like to take a chance on the cheapy £1 match 3 to win cards.
And today I managed to win....FOR ONCE!!!!

Anyway.....catch you later.
Ta Ta

Life is good sometimes

Went for long walk last night to get some exercise. Boy I'm FAT. I hate it. I used to be SO slim..
I guess sometimes we are what we are. I ended up walking from my home the long (and I mean long) walk to the shops.

I don't use the word ironic too lightly, (and certainly not intensionally out of context like some people I could mention).......


but on this occasion is sums up the situation perfectly..."when I intend to loose some calories, moan and feel bad about being overweight....go for long walk and END UP WALKING BACK WITH A CHINESE TAKEAWAY and ALL THE TRIMMING...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!!!!"
I digress.

Watched Amagedon on dvd last night and fell asleep half way through. Its a good film and I needed to chill out a bit. I think the soundtrack rocks. Aerosmith especially the key lyric scriber Steve Tyler wrote "I dont want miss a thing" especially for the Film. I didnt know that prior to watching the extras. It fits the film perfectly.
Another film I watched last night was Mission to Mars, which is once again a brilliant film. Although it lacks some tasty realistic dialogue and could have done with a decent sound track. Cant have it all (always end up buying acouple of films on good days when everything is sweet in my world...from Cash Convertors as its cheaper and more sensible that renting unless of course its a new film and one I MUST see.

Before I forget..(how could I..?) I just want to say thank you to someone who looked at something from a differnt angle yesterday and allowed me (?) to view things in a totally diffent light. So THANK YOU
Csound is the world's most powerful software synthesizer and signal processor. It can do all the things listed above and infinitely more.(go to site link below...its well worth a visit and is a BIG help) Written in the programming language "C" in 1986 by Barry Vercoe, CSound is the grandchild of the first computer music programs, Music I-V, written by Max Matthews at Bell Laboratories starting in the 1950s. (You can hear a few CSound compositions by following the links in the left hand column.) IMAGE TAKEN FROM http://www.berklee.edu/news/2001/07/csound.html


OH SHOOT.....just seen the clock and its time to go or else I'll miss my bus.
By blog.....

Just Another Day....?

Easy - Words by Lionel Richie



Verse one

Know it sounds funnyBut I just can’t stand the pain
Girl I’m leaving you tomorrow
Seems to me girlYou know I’ve done all I can
You see I begged, stoleAnd I borrowed
Ooh,

CHORUS

that’s why I’m easy
I’m easy like sunday morning
That’s why I’m easy
I’m easy like sunday morning

Verse Two

Why in the world Would anyboddy put chains on me?
I’ve paid my dues to make it
Everbody wants me to be What they want me to be
I’m not happy when I try to fake it!
No! Ooh,

CHORUS

that’s why I’m easy
I’m easy like sunday morning
That’s why I’m easy
I’m easy like sunday morning

MIDDLE 8TH

I wanna be high, so high
I wanna be free to knowThe things I do are right
I wanna be free
Just me, babe!

CHORUS

That’s why I’m easy
I’m easy like sunday morning
That’s why I’m easy
I’m easy like sunday morning
Because I’m easy
Easy like sunday morning
Because I’m easy
Easy like sunday morning

Thanks for penning such a wonderful song Lionel

Hello World.....

What a sureal few days its been since I last added an entry. I am pretty tired right now as its been one long day of tryng to get so much done And tying up loose ends so to speak.
Some days I guess theres just not enough hours in the day. I have been setting up a new network around my apartment which was very boring but a much needed neccessity.Its taken time to get it as secure as I really wanted as I had problems with sucuring it with my usual WEP settings.I tried LEAPING but didnt makee much different.In the edd I tested and am now temporarily usuing a bounce brindge settup through xp.Its made a slight difference now Im at last pushing the promiced 2meg ADSL. Although around the place and outside now Im using the new Cable and Wireless Ultra G Im able to get wireless trans at full 102 and just plus or minus from anywhere around the place.Outside is the same speed although Ive yet to walk up the road so to speak.

I spent time clearing up my office come spare room this afternoon.The pinboard thats been left since purchased on the floor is now on the wall and will have assignment dates on it as Im pushing along fast now ever since I had a proverbial wakeup call not too long ago.
Plus the fact...now I am sure I have several very real work options oince I recieve my degree...well its sort of changed the way I
feel about things.

Have to go now as my little one wants a cuddle.
Bit of a boring blogg so sorryy about that. Cu

My wish for today is.....

I wish I could be the smartest personal in the world....

What a day...
I so wish I could understand the program I'm working with in my college course called Csound. I was doing really well. The potential for what this application can do is wonderful. I would give my right arm to be able to write code to the point that I could use it to write melodies. I came away from my class today with such a disheartened feeling. I'm a musical genious for gods sake, SO why can't I get my head around the code quicker. I felt really good last night...am I mean really good. As I'd been playing around with it on my laptop and had been scouring the boards for answers and trawling around the Csound home site.I played around with it till gone 130am this morning.
In class I managed to get through some of the work we were set out to complete. But I got lost half way and started to loose my confidence. I have had for many years a low self esteem that sometimes crops up from time to time. Today however I got myself into a panic which turned into a full blown panic attack. For those that have either yet to feel what thats like or who don't know....a panic attack (at least the ones I get) are like....your heart feels like it's racing over time...your face feels like it's getting hotter and hotter and theres an almost overwhelming feeling of desperation that can bring some to tears. A year ago I would have done the right thing which is what I was always told to do, and that it to leave the walls of the situation if it's a room and go out into fresh air or at least sit down with a coffee or tea. But I chose not to do that today. I've not had a panic attack like that for some time. Sometimes I get the start of one when around lots of people and do my best to fight it. But today I sat trying to hide away..keeping myself to myself and deep breathing. Boy did I feel horrible. I think today was hard to deal with anyway because I didn't sleep well last night and when tired I always seem to get a little stressed out anyway. I guess unless you actually suffer with panic attacks it's hard to empathise or perhaps even rationalise what they are actually about.

Bus journeys SUCK

Just got into college.Boring bus ride from home as I got carried away with dreamweaver and didnt leave myself enough time to copy over any video or music from PC to PPC. I hate it when that happens. Im not a fan of buses as theyre so awful. People on the whole are usually nice enough. But then u always get the odd smelly one with nasty body oddor or then theres the idiot on the phone with the default Nokia. Its ALWAYS a Nokia. Talking so damn loud trying to either act over the top cool...show off generally not realising how much everyone else wants them to get off at the next stop or at least for their battery to die. Then theres the two people as a default pain on evry bus journey whom insist on talking about something so trivial and so loud that they become an instant laugh a minute.These types are funny as its only them who seem unaware or are too stupid to realise that everyone is laughing at them.
Changing the subject for a minute...isnt it getting colder in the morningsd now.I dont mind the cold but I guess like everyone else I enjoy the summer months more.
I guess Id better go soon as its nearly 9am and lessons will start soon. I just hope that the morning till 1pm goes really quick as I HATE Monday mornings and as well as that..I have a load of things that I have to sort out that are at the forefront of my mind.

Bye bye for now Blogg

WhatEVER

Well...
I have been trying to get my script to work for allowing my webcam to be hard linked directly from home to my site but alas to no avail. Spent a loooonggg time Sunday going through tutorials etc both online and in books. Locally the code worked so I am wondering if activex and J can't be used and uploaded to the server with actual video streams. Oh well looks like I will have to try and find another way. I had thought I cold use flash and create a new instance of a media controller etc but I have to admint that without a bit more reading this stumps the heck out of me. I just could't get anything to work.
So I have reset my cam links to the original ww.com webcam EASYYYYYY LIFEEEE pages. This is really for when on the fly one wants nothing more than have a live local camera uploaded to a single webpage. Its not very pretty or customizable but it DOES work and is free. So I must not grumble. That IS when the flippin server allows me to connect. Have checked setting over and over and over. Even my PDA ftp wont work...grrrrrr I cant remember when something has annoyed me so damn much because of such a stupid problem.




Besides all the hastles..on a happily positive and somewhat "HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO MYSELF sort of "HAVE A PREZZIE FROM ME TO ME" kind of way..I've just spent a little money I'd been saving for the past 2months as well as adding some cash from my emergency fun..I've swapped my WIFI setup for the latest and greatest 108mbps 11g Cable and Wireless modem router. ...Boy is it fast....

It'a juat a pitty BT B.S'ed about the fact that my service was now 2Mbps as that would have been nice for normal use. But anyway even though its 100 (I've tested it and its actually wired at 154Mbps) It still means its fast enough for caming family and friends when I want to chat and is fast enough all round for what I nead...(WHO AM I KIDDING...I WANT 2MBPS AS I WAS PROMICED...!!!!)
It took a little setting up and is once again down to the usual ip address/web based interface controller for settup. I know it's still a local setup but it's not as friendly and as well thought out as the Linksys router settup window. But one thing I did find a joy was how quick it accepted the new settings. The only point I HATE is that if you need to change anything you need to reconnected via hard wire as trying to access the setup ip was not possible via a wireless point. This is a real shame as Linksys was always available and even allowed me to use my PDA cell phone to do the business. And that was without any waiting time too. But the new C&W box starts to load and then stops. The only thing I can think of is that it needs a static IP address fromt the host machine to allow accessing. Failing that I have no idea. Although I also found out that I am unable to hook up to the college server to upload new dreamweaver work if I use my wireless setup. So maybe it is a case of static IP.
I digress.

Yesterday, I have to say I got so fed up with the neighbours. I don't know who it is in this place but someone yesterday had music so loud I had to put myself in a state of total calm else I may have gone along and followed the thoughts in my head which could have caused problems all round. I wanted soooo much to put my studio monitor speaks face down on the floor..link the laptop and loop some string samples through. This may sound ODD as some people I know who arent a million miles away from my thoughts these days and female would have jumped up and down on the floor or better still gone round and told whoever it was to TURN IT DOWN....


Well lets just say that my next step would have been to have turned the mixer on max, whacked the reverb and boost on full and gone out for the day. But..I guess I am just to much of a decent chap. Either that or just plain stupid.



If only a new neighbour could move in
and perhaps look a little like this

What else have I been up too....(mmMmm).....thinks....

Ah yes !...I have been looking into one of the assignments for my course and even managed to more or less do the majority of the ground work already. This is amaizing and is a sure sign that I am pretty much getting back to the person I was a couple of years ago when all that mattered was reaching my goals in life.

Right at this moment its not even 6am but I've been awake since 4am and have been unable to sleep right through. Lets just say that I am having to add extra pages to my Journal book these days as I write so much.

10 minutes early...

Well...I got in early today. Pretty cool going actaully as I bumped into an old friend who several years ago during my first ever years study on my first media course, taught me about the basics of writng HTML using a simple notepad. The guy was a lot younger than me and helped me loads at understanding several of the basics and ended up giving me the inspiration to put together a simple site that I managed to compile completely with (I kid you not) with a Sharp hand held computer HC2000 or something similar.
Anyway....he's just told me that he is off to University real soon as he got six (*6) distinction marks across the board for his studies so is obviously heading in the right direction to a good career.
I just hope that all this studying over the top that I've been doing and all the extra book reading I am presently doing will give me the options that I want.....I intend to become a Journalist somewhere along the line. Hopefully because of my Musical background and similar I can get into music journalism. I want to work from home to begin with and be in a position to be able to look after my daughter. Now that would be really worth working towards.

Failing that, then perhaps a freelance music critic...
A nice house in the counrty and the 4 x 4 Renegade jeep that I have always longed for would be great. Oh yes and a couple of Alsation dogs.

Todays wish...simply that some people realise that when you live in flats, others can here your music too..especially when IT'S loud.! ! ! ! ! !...

Good morning Diary..
It's pretty early as per usual. 543am actually. I've been awake for a little while working on a piece of music that I wrote last year and am still trying to find the lyrics for. I bought some headphones the other week and have found them invaluable...I can obviously play piano without waking anyone up. Things change when you not only have a child but become the childs main focus and keeper. If I was to play during normal hours my daughter would want to sit on my lap and play keyboards too. When she's older I'll start teaching her properly but at the moment she has a habbit of messing around with the PB/Mod controller and has been known to reset the board completely. Yes it's fun to watch her learn as she goes..seeing through trial and error what does what...BUT NOT WHEN YOU'VE GOT A 28 TRACK FINISHED SEQUENCE READY TO DATA DUMP TO PC AND ALL IS SUDDENLY LOST....LOL :-) (big smiles)

Anyway....I have no worries about the speed at which she'll pick it all up as she can use the studio mixer better than I first thought. I only get to use the laptop in here on the odd occation as Sophie preferes to watch her DVD on it instead of the tv in the front room. I guess it must be because she is able to interact with it. She's really clued up and perhaps too well. I have shown her how to use the aux input if she wants to add digrev...and pan and main and channel volumes. Okay so she doesn't always turn it to the right levels. But she still amazes me being that she'll be three in January.

I am going to digress now as my stupid intensional alarm wav sound with the R2D2 revolving whistle has just reminded me of why I sitting infront of this thing in the first place....write my notes for todays lesson. AHHHHHHHHHHHH I'd almost left myself without any time to do it.

Catch you later ta ta
Oh yeah....the picture is "Clock Explosion by Salvador Dali" I put it there as it's my fav and because it's better than no picture at all...and it brightens up the blog.....he he he

Todays wish is that I get the chance to put a band together and play at Digbys bar...??

Dear Blog...

My lovely 3yr old daughter awoke at 315am this morning. I'd be up a bit before that to work on my website which is coming along gradually. Sophie just wanted cuddles....then toast.....then asked me to put tom and jerry on the laptop....then.....
Anyway....by the time I put the toast in the toaster and had pushed play on the B.S.Player all I heard was snoring...LOL
I'd been really quiet in the office/my bedroom so it was another one of those bad dreams shes been having I think.

Come nine oclock this morning and we were both awake watching tv. I'd managed to sort her breakfast....and get her ready for my parents who had promised to take her to Colchester zoo today. They left at about 915am which meant I had a good day to myself which I had no intension of wasting watching DVD or playing in the studio. So I spent most of this morning working the java code for loading the webcam directly through my wifi and stream it to the server...(something like that.)
The point is, is that I want to leave the camera running without it becoming a problem for bandwidth or for that matter a security risk for my setup. I think I've nearly sorted it thanks to getting the channels sorted and the port protocols for my Linksys which didn't like having my backdoor open for a while whilst I set it up.
I have a bad feeling that it'll give me more than the odd headache before I actually feel happy with it and the cam settings. Fingers Crossed.

I worked with Dreamweaver on the off site links earlier within my index page. I intend to host my block on my own server at home if I can sort it out somehow. I don't want to have to use any external links if I can help it. Obviously the links page which speaks for itself will have to be left as it is.

I'm pretty excited as I received news today .... that one of my friends whom I hung out with last summer has spoken with a mutual friend and is wanting to launch some kind of regular recording work with me. This is doubly great as not only does she play guitar AND is a wicked singer but it may hopefully lead to putting a new band project together that I've been giving serious thought to.
A few years ago I used to write for a band who used to record at a studio called LimeLite which was in Battersea London. It's a real shame it closed as the Engineer and Producer/Owner was a great guy who tried to help me launch my own music career back in the early nineties. Rick sylvan if your reading this (unlikely...?) get in touch.
I learned a great deal about music production etc and would love to get back into writing. I intend to put up some of my new material at some point when there's time. I have to get my college work up to date first but it'll be great to get some stuff put up online and allow friends etc to hear what I'm really about. I digress on this subject as I am starting to reminisce a little too much of the past.

My studio at home...



Anyway...I better go and get this site looking a bit better as my head graphic is a little iffy to say the least. Does anyone know the script to allow for mouse trails. I want to add a little something special to the site.
Before I go....I must say a quick hello to a certain someone who came up and sat with me the other day.I was sitting there and a really nice voice simply said "Nick" I won't say where or anything. She knows who she is. I just wanted to say hi and to tell you that you really made my day as it wasn't going too well. Oh...and sorry I couldnt come out with you guys for the night out. I will next time you can count on it.

Bye bye for now

If only....

Well...it's just coming up to 8:00am on Wednesday 9th of November and I've been wide awake since 5:15am. I can honestly say here and now that I have not worked so hard in all my life.
What I mean by that is that I have been creating my web based portfolio that I fell a little behind on. It's quite good fun and quite interesting actually which I hear myself saying and am quite suprised. Macromedia sucked a few weeks ago and I could have thrown my laptop and PDA at the wall at the best of times.
I guess there's a great deal of my background and growing up years that have stayed with me in a negative way which leads to my sometimes being both a little hard on myself, and sometimes feeling like giving up before going anywhere.
But recently having put the hard work and time/effort into things. I have found out what a buzz learning to use certain software can have of your sense of wellbeing. It's great to know that once the webcam is actually off the ground and set up 100% as I want it. I'll be able to not only allow peep to see me...(yuck) but also that the family I have around the globe from Africa...USA...Paris and so on will all be able to keep intouch. I am looking forward to using video chat with my brother Tony who lives with his family outside Paris. He's a legal eagle and is in charge of looking after the welfare of children whom are deemed as wards of court. I guess you could say he's a sort of social worker but with rather a lot more power of authority.
Anyway.....Better go now as things to do....

Besides which, Sophie my daughter comes home today and I wont get much time to do much then.


To end this blog and because I love it so much...heres a picture of my favorite item that I would'nt want to be without.

If I were ever to be shipwrecked or be involved in a "LOST" scenario then I guess you could say that THIS is what I would bring with me


Oh...the picture at the top.....(yes I could have edited it and moved it to a more respectable spot) is the first actual portable computer I treated myself to when I was writing music for a living. It served me well and connected to a my first portable Cannon printer...it did all I needed it too. Even when I was staying on the Sea Land platform out at sea 7 miles due east from Harwich. I was under music guidance and management from a friend who ran the security on it. I still have some stamps from when I met the owner Sir Roy Bates OBE. I was supposed to write a song for sealands national anthem but never managed to finish it. I will be posting some photocopies of the passport and stamps when I get time. Some people will know the significance of what I am talking about but some will need to research it a bit. Anywy.....bye bye for now